Not So Empty Nest Days

Cherishing the days past while moving towards the days ahead, BHG

Ultimate Loss

on June 9, 2012

Yesterday was such a surreal day for me. Never in my wildest nightmares could I imagine the loss of a child. I pray I never have to. Can I be transparent? I used to cry when friends would leave for out-of-town because I wasn’t sure if I would see them again! Crazy, I know but my guess is the military moves since childhood didn’t help me either.

But the real loss of a child is so much larger than the loss of a friend moving. It’s much more definite than PCSing to another state or country. It’s, to some, it seems like it’s forever but to others it IS forever. And it hurts more than anyone will ever know, more than those of us with all living children could ever imagine.

I can remember earlier this year being on a Facebook stalk hunt and stumbling on a young cancer patient who posted regularly about her victories and encouraging others in their fights. The last post I remember from her was, “How cool. My birthday is on Easter this year!” I think the wording might have a little different and I might have added the exclamation point but you get the jest. I remember looking at that and thinking of all the issues this little girl has to face and she is excited that her birthday falls on the day we celebrate Christ being raised from the dead. How prophetic was that in hindsight because not too much later she had gone to be with Him! We will all see you soon Jessie Rees!!

I don’t know the order of events or how it even happened but not only was a child lost his life yesterday but his mom, dad, sister and other family and friends lost him as well. I walked into a hospital one way and walked out another. For me, that was a church service. Not because we prayed, there were no hymns sung or sermon preached, there was grief and mourning met with love and compassion. That to me is the epitome of Christ’s life! He met with people mourning death, poverty, debilitating sickness and pain, shame and hatred everyday that I know of. Yet he came with only compassion and love to give them, and they received it. The Griffin family could have yelled and told us to leave, curse us and point fingers for not being in contact more. But they showed us how easy it is to love. What a lesson of humility nd reality that day.

I left thinking about a lot that day. How that mom was going to make to tomorrow, how he was not going to see another sunrise or sunset, how his mom had woke up that day a mom of two and went to sleep with only one living. It’s mind-boggling how much goes on in your mind when death of a child hits close to home. You wonder if you are selfish for being thankful that your children are still alive,  you think about time already wasted and what you can do to make up. I don’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to lose a child, nor do I ever want to but I know the biggest lesson I learned that day was a verse I had read many times before in the Bible, “Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow.” – Psalm 144:4. How these words rang through my ears and deeply into my soul as I listened to the sobs of a mother who had just lost her child.

I left thinking God why? How could this happen to her after everything else she had been through? I wish I was a healer right now.” But in all that, I still knew He is Sovereign. I knew He would get the glory no matter what happened. And that’s what He needs us to remember, but in the midst of that kind of storm, He hears our cries and catches our tears for us.

Cherish every little moment with your grown kids whether they are at home still or moved out. Don’t grumble when they come over to eat your fridge bare or use up all your hot water with their 4 hour shower or wash their clothes with your detergent. Why not nag when they dirty up your house? Because they made it out of their childhood, and somebody’s child didn’t.



One response to “Ultimate Loss

  1. blessedfe says:

    This was started on Wednesday June 6th and just completed.

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